The Self Concious Lifter

I did my first cycle when i was too young,but I feel like it was for a good purpose.  It was a way of getting my body ready for college soccer, and hopefully to get me a chance at the U-19 National Team.  So out of my 10+ cycles I have done only has not been because of vanity.  There are many reasons to do roids, such as for bodybuilding, Pro sports, but most for vanity.  So I don’t feel that alone, but it still seems like I have huge self esteem issues.  Now honestly I tried to figure out how true this is.  From an outside view point it looks pretty cut and dry, but I can’t seem to admit this to myself, so is it pride or do I do it for other reasons?  So what if I flex in the mirror every time I take a shower and several other occasions, but who doesn’t ( I hope thats not a dumb question).  Is this crazy, I guess only to people with no muscle to flex.  Well I thought some people do it for the women, so they get the looks as they  walk down a street.  This seems very unreasonable, but my defense is while engaged I still roided up.  I have to say that can’t be it, so why is this such a complex issue within me?  I have always been a pretty confident man, very capable with the ladies.  I have to say thatas far as I am concerned you don’t need one, and that’s the point of this blog.  As long as you know what your doing, and do it within the safety requirements , there needs to be no explanation.  So do it to it and have fun, but be safe.