Albert Haynesworth finally decided to pass his conditioning test for the Washington Redskins. Is this guy really that fat?
I mean, think about it. I know that there could be a correlation between being a big, fat dude and being lazy. But how can a $100 million athlete not be able to pass a conditioning test in training camp?
Sure, he’s got knee problems – so does half the league. Sure, it’s hot outside – it’s hot in the Himalayas right now. Is Albert Haynesworth fat, lazy, disgruntled, stupid or a combination thereof? That is the question my friends.
Albert Is Fat and Lazy
Yes, he technically is “fat Albert”, but he’s a defensive lineman so it’s expected that he’s going to be a big dude. Has he taken that too far?
I feel like he looked around and said to himself, “I can milk this for everything it’s worth”. So he started looking for excuses to avoid some training camp.
Training camp is hard on football players, especially veterans. In many cases the wear and tear on your body isn’t worth it if you’re older.
However, wouldn’t you just come out and say, “Listen, I’m not putting myself through that this year”? Albert already asked to be traded and now he wants to miss some camp.
I can understand that. But the guys on his team probably don’t care if he’s fat or not. They care if he can play. No play – no fun for Albert.
He’d already lost his teammates, so did he just try to put up the “pitiful front” to make everyone feel sorry for him? I can see how some people might look at him like he’s a sad puppy dog.
“Oh poor Albert hurt himself. It’s because he has to be so big to play football. They shouldn’t do that to poor Albert.” That’s the sentiment he was hoping for.
Instead he got everyone thinking. Now we just think he’s a fat bum who doesn’t want to get in shape to play a game for a living. Oh, and since your job in the NFL is to work out, we just have no sympathy. Can you blame us?
Albert is Stupid
Stupid might be a good word for this. Imagine signing a $100 million contract. Then you play like crap the first season of that contract. Then you request a trade.
You know that the team can’t trade your gigantic contract, but you asked anyway? That makes no sense to me at all. If you’re unhappy you need to make you situation happier. Now you have a new coach and a new system, but you gripe about it to anyone who will listen. If you’re being paid $100 million, shouldn’t you be able to play in any system?
I know Albert is a talented football player, but that does not make him smart – it makes him talented. If he were smart he’d be playing in the system because that’s his job.
I don’t think Albert understands that his teammates are adapting to the system so they can improve on last season. He still wants to do what he was doing last season, which wasn’t working.
The signal being sent to his teammates is, “I don’t care. I just want to be me and I’m not going to change.” The last time I heard someone say that was Puck on “The Real World: San Francisco”. Puck was a jackass and so is Albert.
Albert is Disgruntled
Albert has made $32 million in guaranteed payouts over the first year of his contract. I don’t know about you, but I don’t anyone who has that much money can be disgruntled.
I’ve argued before that Albert misses Kyle Vanden Bosch who was his running mate in Tennessee. I’ve argued that he is being asked to carry the whole load and he needs help. I’ve tried to be nice to Albert, but I just can’t do it anymore.
If you have made $32 million in a year you have no right to be disgruntled with anything but your own productivity. The Redskins sucked last year, and Albert sucked right along with them. Calling Albert disgruntled is like calling the sky red, it makes no sense.
I think we would all respect him a whole lot more if he would just come out and say, “I sucked last year, and this year is going to be better.”
What About a Combo?
I personally think Albert is a combination of fat, lazy, stupid, and disgruntled. He’s disgruntled with his own play, but he’s taking it out on the team by being lazy.
He’s fat and out of shape because he decided to be lazy, and he’s stupid for thinking that was even remotely acceptable. Yep, he’s a combo all right!
When you take a professional athlete who is completely out of touch with reality and give him a bad season he’s only got two options: man up or fall back.
Albert fell back because he’s too lazy and stupid to see the benefits in manning up. Albert knew he had money in the bank so he decided not to care. Dan Snyder overpaid and the “complacency factor” set in.
I’ll bet you anything that as soon as Albert got his guarantee check he said, “If I have a bad year that’s it because I’m kinda rich, bitch!”
He followed through on his promise to himself by getting totally out of shape and not even having the stamina to complete the Redskins’ conditioning test. After he failed it the first time he started complaining about his knee hoping everyone would care. We don’t.
When he realized no one cared he just mailed it in a couple times and skipped it a couple times. Then, when he thought he had missed enough camp, he completed it.
It was a crafty move by a stupid person. Albert’s philosophy had backfired so he had to maximize his missteps to his advantage. Albert knows deep-down inside he can’t be traded. Albert also knows the Redskins have to play him. He took the easy way out, and now he’ll pay the price.
It was a stupid move to get fat and be lazy. It was a smart move to game the system to miss some time in training camp.
But the dumbest move of all is thinking we’ll ever look at him the same. Albert, you lost all our respect. I was willing to look past the “head-stomping” incident because I thought you cared. Now I know better.
Will you ever be able to get our respect back? Not unless you clinch the Super Bowl with a sack. Anybody want to take the odds on that? I didn’t think so.
