Lane Kiffin and DeAngelo Hall: Separated at Birth

Lane Kiffin and DeAngelo Hall have two things in common.  They have a tendency to piss off the wrong people and they are highly adept at getting people to give them large sums of money for no reason.

Now that Lane Kiffin has been named the Head Football Coach at USC I have to ask myself how two people who seem to be polar opposites could be so similar.  Lane Kiffin and DeAngelo Hall were definitely separated at birth!

The Anger

Lane Kiffin started his reign of terror in Head Coaching with the Oakland Raiders, but I believe the anger started much earlier.

When Kiffin was Co-Offensive Coordinator at USC with Steve Sarkisian these two guys were the biggest “rising stars” in football.  At some point I think Kiffin got tired of being the “boy” and not the “man”.

After the loss that USC took to Texas for the BCS National Championship Kiffin bolted for the worst coaching gig in the NFL:  the Oakland Raiders.  I truly believe this is where it all started.  Lane may have been a smart ass prior to 2006, but this was where it all came out.

Kiffin went to Oakland looking to be the “man” and turn around a horrid franchise.  When he ran into Al Davis senility and general lack of common sense Kiffin exploded.  He decided to piss off the craziest owner in all of professional sports.  Not only did he do stupid things (like sending Sebastian Janikowski out to attempt a 76-yard field goal), but he defended it stupidly too!

When Al Davis fired Kiffin “for cause” everyone on earth assumed that the old man had lost his marbles because Kiffin SHOULD have been a good coach.  Now we realize that Al Davis was right to fire an insubordinate punk like Kiffin.

Kiffin ran off to Tennessee and began accusing Urban Meyer of NCAA rules violations while committing his own.  He ran his mouth all season and it is even reported that he showed his players tapes of USC.  He told his players that they would make Tennessee the “USC of the South”.

Is it any surprise that he’s left Tennessee on bad terms?  Tennessee’s Athletic Director said he was disappointed (which is code for pissed off).  Moreover, Tennessee will probably get pinched for some serious rules violations and Kiffin won’t be around to feel the heat.

Lane Kiffin has a history of screwing with the wrong people, running his mouth, and leaving people holding the bag.

The Money

DeAngelo Hall also has a history of messing with the wrong people.  When he got to Atlanta he acted as if he was the reincarnation

of Deion Sanders.  He ticked off Arthur Blank and got himself traded to Oakland.  He took his rookie contract and signing bonus with him to Oakland where he was rewarded with a $70 million contract that had $24 million guaranteed.

After the Raiders cut him loose he took his rookie bonus, the $24 million from Oakland ran over to the Redskins.  What did the Redskins do?

They gave him a $55 million contract!  This dude has piled up over $120 million dollars in total contracts.  Granted, he hasn’t seen all of that money, but each contract has guarantees.

The Uncanny Similarity

Here’s where these stories converge.  Lane Kiffin has a tendency to run his mouth.  He also has a tendency to want power.  Plus, he

gets paid alot of money everywhere he goes.

DeAngelo Hall has a thirst for fame and recognition.  He also has a tendency to run his mouth.  Plus, he’s been paid again and again by stupid NFL GM’s.

These two gentlemen crossed paths in Oakland where Kiffin was Hall’s coach in 2008.  Isn’t that strange?

I can’t help but admit that the first thing I thought when Lane Kiffin left for USC was “He’s DeAngelo Hall in coach form!”.  I hope you see it too.  The “uncanny similarity” was too much to pass up.

Dr. Steroids

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