What’s up people!? (Besides the fact that I was dead wrong on Miami and VT) I had a crazy sports week. Baseball is finally coming to an end (the regular season anyways), college and pro football were crazy ridiculous, and we’ve even got the President saying he’s going to go to Denmark to make a pitch to the IOC for Chicago to get the 2016 Olympics. This is going to be insane!
A Conversation That Probably Happened
After Virginia Tech beat the tar out of Miami on Saturday I watched as Randy Shannon and Frank Beamer met at mid-field to shake hands. These are two great guys in college football and I can just imagine what was said:
Randy Shannon: Well, you really got us good today coach.
Frank Beamer: You’ll have your time son. Don’t lose another ball game, you hear?
Randy Shannon: Yes Sir!
That’s probably it. I was sad to see the U go down hard like that, but they’re a good team and the rest of the ACC better look out because I don’t think Miami will lose another game either.
Let’s stick with college football for a minute. Georgia Tech beat UNC. I don’t know how this happened. I know how this happened. GT got out to a 10-0 lead and ran the ball for 12 hours while UNC tried to scrape together with their piddly possession time. It feels good to be right every now and then.
The NFL didn’t go so well for me. I totally crapped on the Bengals by refusing to write even 25 words of a 3200 word column on Saturday about their game with Pittsburgh. Why you ask? Because they’re the Bengals and the Steelers are the Steelers. What more is there to say?
Anyways, I watched some football with my son on Sunday and then I took him out for a little bit because he wasn’t feeling well. We’re in the car, I turn on the local ESPN affiliate, I get the Westwood One broadcast of the Bengals-Steelers game and there Cincy is, down in Pittsburgh’s end, converting a 4th down and driving in to score with essentially no time left. I almost drove my car off the road (and that’s bad because I can’t afford to get a new one.) When did the Bengals decide to play well? I thought the win they had was a fluke. The way they won that game signaled improvement (not luck like the Raiders had.)
Let’s Play a Game!
I say a team and you say Good, Bad, Pretending, or Contending. Go!
Detroit -……Pretending. They basically stole a win from a Washington team that is probably worse than they are. I can hear Daniel Snyder lighting the bonfire under Jim Zorn from over here. [Don’t forget the whole Gunther Cunningham thing either.]
Chicago -……Contending. The way they played this weekend is much more like the team we all thought they could be after they made the trade for Jay Cutler. With Brian Urlacher out for the season I still have major reservations, but you can’t bet against a Bears defense or this newfangled receiver they discovered named Johnny Knox.
Seattle -……Pretending. The Seahwaks had better be glad they played St. Louis Week 1 or they’d be 0-3. Everyone is saying that the Seahawks can get it together and somehow right the ship. No way, they’ve got everybody fooled. An old hobbled Quarterback and no running game = suck.
Cleveland -……Bad. There’s no potential here. They’re just bad, Eric Mangini is fining players $1701 for not paying for a bottle of water from a hotel room bar? Was he thinking up his discipline plan when he should’ve been evaluating his Quarterbacks during training camp? Anyway you look at it it makes you say “Dannnnnggggg!” $1701 for a bottle of water? Are you serious? He might get fired after 1 season.
Baltimore – ……Contending. Their offense plays like their defense and their defense still kills it every week. Joe Flacco is a man in the pocket and I have no idea how anyone plans on scoring on this team. How long before we can put them in the AFC Title Game again?
Tennessee -……Pretending. This is another team (like the Seahawks) that everyone thinks will right the ship but I just don’t know how. Kerry Collins did everything he could on Sunday and they still lost. I don’t know that they have anything desperately wrong with them, but I think they just forgot how to win games.
New York Jets -……Good. They’re just good. There’s alot of cool things going on here. Kris Jenkins is amazing. Mark Sanchez is playing great. Rex Ryan has the team clicking, but come the end of the season they’ll just be a nice team. They probably won’t make the playoffs,but they’ll give us a show. {If you’re mad about this remember that Mark Sanchez is a rookie and not every rookie Quarterback is going to play like Matty Ice and Joey Flacco played last year. Not so mad now, are you?}
Giants -……Contending. Eli Manning + Osi + solid running = Can we pencil them in for the NFC Title Game yet? (P.S. – That’s why you pay for good quarterbacks!)
Tampa -……Bad. This team stinks. Raheem is young and he’ll be able to get another job, but this team looks like the team that drafted Vinny Testaverde and Steve Young. Yikes it’s eery to watch them suck like they used to. They had come so close to making us forget how bad they used to be and then they went and ruined it.
Jacksonville -……Pretending. The Jags just beat a team that lucked into a win against another pretender (Tennessee)and someone wants to try to tell me that they can get it together and this is a watershed victory? They’ve got the Titans next week. Even if they win that game it will be against another pretender and then the myth will live on longer when this team just needs to die already [Kind of like in “Goldeneye” when Alec tells James “Why won’t you just be a good boy and die?”] Yeah, Jags, please be good boys and just get out of the way already.
Houston -……Pretending. They do this every season. Ooh look! The Texans have it together this year! Whatever. I’ll believe it when I see it.
San Francisco -……Good. They’re a nice team, but I’m not sure how many close games they can win given how they let the game slip away on Sunday. Mike Singletary will push them, they’ll probably win the NFC West, but they’ll probably lose on Wild Card Weekend.
Minnesota -……Contending. Did you see how they pulled that game from under the 49ers? That’s why you pay $12 Million for Brett Favre. As much as I hate to say it, he’s still got it in him. {Want to hear something funny? Greg Lewis caught the game-winning TD. He was only in because Percy Harvin had been running “Go” routes forever and he was gassed. Brett didn’t even know his name. Apparently, he said “Yeah that was a good catch by #17!”}
Atlanta -……Contending. If they let another one get away form them like this one did they will be demoted to the Good list. They were holding off the Patriots in the Red Zone (and didn’t the Patriots look generally bad deep in the Falcons’ end?) and they were moving the ball. An untimely turnover, some really bad officiating (that guy’s crew was awful), and an emotional challenge don’t get you a win over the Patriots, even if they are starting to get big chinks in their armor.
Patriots -…….Good. They don’t suck, but something’s wrong. They’re a nice team, but something is wrong. They can find a way to beat a pretty good Atlanta team, but something is wrong. I don’t know what it is, but we discuss it further in a minute.
Packers -……Pretending. They beat St. Louis, they lost to Cincy, and they stepped into a miracle to beat Chicago. They’re not going much of anywhere and I don’t know how long they can keep fooling us. They have Minnesota coming up next week and that does not bode well for them.
Kansas City, St. Louis, Washington, Buffalo, Oakland, Carolina, Miami -……Bad. Bad, Bad, Bad. These teams are awful! Bleh!
Eagles -……Good. The Eagles are a nice team. They didn’t really do anything with Mike Vick. Bryant Westbrook is hurt (big surprise), and their defense is alright. The only cool thing about the Eagles is that Kevin Kolb is the first Quarterback to throw for 300 yards in each of his first two starts. That’s nice, but not Contender worthy.
New Orleans -……Contending. They will be in EVERY game because they can score at will. I thought they wouldn’t be this hot, but they are. Atlanta and New Orleans will have a dogfight going on all season. If Atlanta slips too far I don’t see how they can catch up to a team that scores like this.
Dallas -……Bad. I don’t know that Wade Phillips will make it the whole season. This team is horrible. It is not up to Jerry Jones’ standards and he’s probably WAY over it. Need I say more. {P.S. – Jerry’s bonfire is bigger!}
Cincinnati, Indy, Denver, Arizona -……Who The Hell Knows!? I honestly don’t know what to say about any of these teams. Denver is 3-0 and they are crap. Indy’s 3-0 as well but they’re off…something’s wrong there too. The Bengals are Schizophrenic and Arizona is just plain looney. I have no words….no words…
Pittsburgh -……Contending. They sorely disappointed me by losing to the Schizoid Bengals, but they’re still the defending champs and no one else will be the Champs until they get unseated. You just don’t mess with the Terrible Towel.
On to Baseball…Generally Speaking
The NL Wild Card is starting to get interesting and the typically disappointing Braves are 2.5 out with 7 to play. With so few games left they’ll need some help to vault into the Wild Card spot, but at least they’re making it interesting.
The Yankees have won 100 games and they clearly are NOT pretending. I still don’t think they’re going to make it all the way to the World Series, but a questionable team never won 100 games.
I don’t know how Zach Greinke is winning any games, much less 16. He’s got a 2.06 ERA and 237 Strikeouts…for the ROYALS. THE ROYALS FOR PETE’S SAKE! HOW? IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, HOW? Give him the Cy Young and get it over with.
If Cito Gaston isn’t surprised by how bad B.J. Ryan sucked this year, why does Cito still have a job? (They cut him and still owe him $15 million!)
If the Red Sox and the Yankees meet in the playoffs will we start hearing chants like “Two Thousand Four!”?
Detroit and Minnesota are 2 games apart with 7 to play. Is anyone else ready for a 1-game playoff?
When did Joe Mauer become the automatic AL MVP?
Finally, can we go to a Premiere League Soccer format where teams that lose 100 games get dropped to the Minors?
{Come on, you know contraction was a good idea.}
Closing With College…
VT torches Miami and I’m left with egg on my face.
GT beats UNC and I look smart.
UGA needs a miracle to beat Arizona State? Good luck with LSU.
Tim Tebow goes to the hospital with a concussion. Thank goodness they have a week off. This could spell trouble.
Tate Forcier needs to stop getting hurt. All the talent in the world can’t save him from being killed on the field before the end of the his freshman year.
Is Boise State really #5?
Is USC REALLY #7? I don’t get it…
How is Oregon at #16 in the AP Poll and #25 in the Coaches poll? This madness needs to either stop, or everyone needs to have a crazy loss and a crazy win.
The SEC has 3 teams in the Top 5. Can I ask to end the SEC/Big 12 debate again?
Conversations That Never Happened coming on Wednesday and some MLB Awards…think Darwin Awards…now you know how I roll with my awards.
Peace…
